Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
