he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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