She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
