On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
