Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
