like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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