please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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