You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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