"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
