Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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