Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
