what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
