I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
