Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
