Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
