now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
