can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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