I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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