He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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