dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
being pregnant is like rehab
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Enjoy the penises
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
