Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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