I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
