I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
