I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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