We're like a lot better than the average bears
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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