I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
