There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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