She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
