I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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