Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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