I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
