Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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