Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
