Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
