Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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