here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
