I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
