I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
