Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
