I must be too annoying 4 u.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize