Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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