I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
