Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
