you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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