i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
