the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
