I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
