very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Couch. On fire.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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