Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
