He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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