Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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