Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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