Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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