I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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