I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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