Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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