So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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