Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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