wanna go halves on a baby?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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