Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
