There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize