Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
