he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
