Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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