Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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